Miss You.

Ooooh your whisper, ooooh your voice.

Why far away, I damn miss it.

What the end will it be?

It's so sourish now, I'm so alienated.

A little bits of love is hard to get from you, my loved one.

What kind of season is this?

Beach and sunset. But there'll be me alone... with the invisible one.

Feelingless.

Insensitive when I saw you and your tears again.
Couldn't explain for that.

That's too much. Way too much.
Your manlyness seem to be gone as days go by.

I can't believe I'm going to let it go again.
I'm fainting.

Ohhh... Bed Sharing.

Received an email from the coordinator of the camp today.

"...you are the youngest and have the gift to do this."

I have come to an agreement to do it.

So this year, at minicamp, I'll be sharing the same room, same bed with the girl who shares the same birthday with me. She's exactly 8 years younger than me.

How cool is that! Awesome.

I just hope I'll behave well during sleeping time.

Re-programming my brain technology.

Strictly: No kicking while sleeping!

Over.

Tasting the noodles and playing with it. My mouth is exhausted. My lips cannot utter words anymore.

My tears are finished and I just cant cry anymore.

I know for a fact it's over and there nothing you can do after the milk is spilt other than cleaning the mess.

Almost 20

I thank you...

For helping me excel in my studies during my high school.

For giving The Star Education Fund scholarship and let me taste a college life.

For getting me a job as an Accounts Executive at this company now.

For letting me taste a little of love during my teenage years.

You have helped me in so many things which I forgot to jot down.

I spent so many nights thinking of the sadness that happened rather than thanking you.

Have I forgotten that it's the climb that matters?

Look it this way - It's so fun falling in love. - I enjoy crushes, those butterflies on tummy and breathless moments.

The ending may not be good but enjoy going through the process and feeling climax.



20 years are not really gone but rather experienced.

Today I'm almost 20 and should and would be happy. :)

That Lonely Night

Exhausted of waiting. Never found.

So it kinda failed. But I felt relieved that I did said a little of my heart's deepest secret.

So now what?

I have left people doubt my sincerity and compiled me under one group only Heaven knows.

Ash gave me a call me and I asked him where to get the toy.

He told me that would only make me feel more needy and lonely.

Went to bed early just to forget forcefully.

Substitute Soulmate

I remember the time I went out with sister and future BIL.
We were there in the cinema and I was watching it on my own, independently.

Throughout the movie, we were at the top seats. My mind was curious as of kitty. I took time to gaze at the view of couples who were placed at below seats.

The longing was there.

Now months passed and magically I've finally been to that place where I once wanted. There he gave me loads of loving when we're there.

Not comfortable despite the comfort given - No satisfaction.

He's just not the one. Thus it was not fulfilling.

I rather have independence rather than clinging on the man I don't love for little crumbs.

Breathless

Truth to be said, he left me breathless though I barely know him.

I'm really afraid. It's too good too be true.

Those moments were heavent sent.

However due to certain reasons, I doubt he is ready to accept me.

Oh if only our feeling were really really mutual.

There's just high chances that it will not turn out the way that I desired.

However this is worth recording - I enjoyed much his presence that special day.

Breathless.

Charmed.

I sat there and I felt a thing.
Why must I hide my feelings?

It's so awful feeling this way.
It feels so near yet so far away.

I want you, I like you. I'm crazy over you.
Last night, I mesmerized about you.

Yes it's you. It's you I'm talking about.
It's you who brings back the butterflies on my tummy.

It's YOU.

Sweet dreams are hated.
They loathed staying as one.

Why have you left me dreaming alone?
Tell me you're dreaming the same and we can together make it come true.

Uninvited Kisses

So we met again.

I thank you for the being a touchy type, I dont have to ask when I need huggies in the movie - that you gave me so spontaneously unhesistantly.

However, things seemed to be unclear to you. I only had you as a companion not a lover.

I hate what you did though it was a language of love - For the first time I hate kisses.

It is really damn mean using someone after a heartbreak. Karma will deal with me later.

She's Not That Young Anymore.

Hmm... she missed Hodey as a matter of fact.

Pissed at the men in her life who cant be better than Hodey.

Yet angry that Hodey has been so good to her yet he left her hanging and married someone else.

Irrational thinking keeps creeping sometimes.

The desire to move on and having a taste of other guys but they are either too reserved or too horny which makes her so afraid.

In few more weeks she'll be turning 20. It's big deal for her.

Expectations will be higher as she's no longer a teenager.

Big 2-0, damn!

Silly Hoe.

And I'm feeling used.

A thing used just to get over her.

A goal you've achieved.

Could I be a silly hoe in your eyes?

Things are not the same, no matter how you hard you try to convince me.

Now, I see those boundaries that cannot be crossed though I want to.

Freedom is not so much as before because of your old luggage.

I'm afraid of clinging to you, new love... Because your pasts seem to haunt you.