With Nothing But Your TShirt On...

I Don't Want You Anymore, Sugar Daddy.

I hate working in that smokey area! Arghhhh...!

It's been two months here and most of the guests who come and go thought I'm from China. Maybe it's because of my small eyes.

I don't know how to be too friendly yet. My public relations suck. Last night, few of the guys asked why I'm being nervous, afraid and reserved. But I chose to ignore since they were half-drunk.

Positively speaking, the good thing about working here is I get to open my eyes wider. I have chances to see many, many, many Sugar Daddies but one and only Sugar Mummy. However, Sugar Daddies here are different from what I have once expected.

I'm starting to lose interest on men of that kind now. Yup, surely for some reasons.

My Heart Is Soring Too.

Taken the sore throat medicine given by the man of the house. Feeling better and ready to revise for Auditing tonight.

I find the need to write down my feelings here.

You've been good to me. Taken good care of me too. But there's just something missing. Blame it on me, I seem to want everything that my eyes see.

You're doing me no harm but you're hurting me for being such a good boy. You're too afraid of harming me.

Baby am I demanding you for so much? Am I rushing for things?

My feeling is so much growing for you. But at the same time I don't know whether should I follow my heart instead of my mind.

I'm speechless at the moment. I need to talk and I hope we're not holding back anything from each other.

Just don't leave me. I need you at this time the most.

Bittersweet Roses & Teddy

I can't believe seeing roses made me burst out in tears in the middle of the night. I can't believe I'm that envious and evil.

My, my why am I enveloping myself in self-pity over and over again?

Maybe, I regret saying "no" to the one that once showered me with a lot of gifts, care, and love.

But is it worthwhile regretting? You, my almost lover, has moved on and changed. And now you are scoffing at my love life - this upsets me greatly.

I can only afford to question whether was it true love when you first said "I love you." And I choose to affirm myself today that I'm loved greatly even without roses and teddies. :)

No Whore!

I got misunderstood. They thought of me as a whore. Oh no! I'm far from it, so farrrrrrrrr. But life's like that. I cant stop them from thinking like that. I don't have control over their brains.

I hope they wont stop me from merely expressing myself. So, I have to becareful, extremely, to the extent of what I write now. No more sensitive stories.

On a seperate note, I've gotten myself another job. And I'm so happy about it. Now it's two jobs plus one student life. I can handle them and it's exciting. Lovin' it.

And now studies update. The light that shines from within - Passion, that's the seed I have in my heart. I remember I'm made to excel in studies - I am so a bright child. ;)

Hoping to climb to another level. Just badly in need of a scholarship, desperately so.

Dear good Lord, help me. :)

"Angel"

I don't have the look of an angel. And I'm more to the darker side - I have more horns than wings, mind you.

If I were to sit beside you now... and whisper in your ears... and tell you: "Hey I'm an A.n.g.e.l.!" I know quite exactly how you would react. You would burst out loud in laughters!

But still, "Angel" is what he calls me... and he still calls me that. :)

Dearest Angel,

There are troubles that will burst like bubbles,
There are shadows that will soon disappear;
Learn to smile and disperse all these troubles
For a smile is better than a frown or tear.

Though the world may hurt and forsake you
Hope will soon awaken you, if you smile today;
Don't parade your sorrow - today or tomorrow,
For your joy and hope will drive the clouds away.

When the sky is pouring, don't start complaining,
What the earth is gaining should not make you sad;
Do not fret even if your dreams are not happening
A wide smile will help to make the whole world glad.

You can smile when you can't say a word,
You can smile when you cannot be heard;
You can smile when it's cloudy or fair,
You can smile anytime and anywhere.

Well I must say, I can smile because I know I'm an angel! :D :P

Your Love Is All Mine, Oh Baby!

"Jasmine, (this is your moment of truth), if this is what you want to know from me: Errr... the truth is... I find you're actually possessive... (very)."

I kept myself in silence for a while. It of course hurts. The truth hurts okay. Nevertheless, it's good.

I'll never be the same again. (They say never say never). So I now choose to rephrase. I'll try not to do the same again. I'll try not to be possesive when it comes to you, if that is the thing that hinders a good ship.

It dawned me that I was living in the past, acting as though I'm competing with another lady for your attention.

So used to living that way. Behaving like that because I'm afraid of losing you... although it's the only beginning of it.

I have yet to kill the tendency to have you everytime, every moment.

When the reality is there's only you and me : One man, one lady.

Oh dear, have I told you that you're actually the F.I.R.S.T unattached man I'm falling for? I know it may sound a little crazy to tell you I'm actually falling for you...

But oh, you don't know the joy of finally having a glimpse of getting a man of your own. It's fantastic, truly!

Counting on you for new beginning. Fingers-crossed, hopefully it's not merely a dream. But if it is, I'll thank goodness for a good dream anyway.

If this works, it'll be the end journey of sticking with attached men.

Heart broken many times is restoring because of a man... a man of my own. Is there a guarantee for this love? I sit and wonder.

Xing Nian Kuai Le 2009!!

Gong Xi Fa Chai. Xing Nian Kuai Le.

Lily cooked all these for our Chinese New Year.

Brocolli with Mushroom, Loh Mai Fun, Tiger Prawns Portugese style, Cili Padi (my fav!!!) and Mee Goreng... She's so geng!

Happy Birthday My Sayang!

I say what I admire in you the most is the way you respect me as a human with feelings even when everyone else seems to lose their respect just because they think the way I live sucks.

Thank you for treating me as a lady as it is intended to be. Thank you to you for being affectionate. Thank you for leading me from wrong to right. Thank you for telling me what's not to do in a gentle way.

Work is tiring. But you make me feel good and life's better. For I know I have a friend waiting for me and don't mind welcoming me home late at night.

I cherish you, even if it is merely a dream.

Today is the 5th of February. And it's your special day. The day you were born. It's your birthday..!

Happy Birthday to you my Sayang!

Teardrops For Valentine

I can predict the future. I roughly know what it would be like for me this Valentine. And I feel a little dumb crying on my bed these few night because of this little thing.

Oh dear Valentines, 11am to 11pm I'd be your slave. I'm quite ready to meet lovers who already made reservations ahead. I know what's in their mind. Lovey dovey stuff. I have to make myself professional as I serve them faithfully.

I'd be imagining as though those gentlemen were you. And as though you are doing all those sweet romantic thing to me.

I cannot be expected to cry while working. I have to be tough.

I promise to be professional. A sweet smile is ready on my face.

It's their day. I just have to wait.

Teardrops has made me stronger, I believe.

Now, I'm prepared to utter those words: "I don't know who you are, but I... I'm with you."