It Was A Wonderful Dream

If his heart is not for me, I don't want it for a minute.

From what I saw with my eyes, he's already over me.

But wait, that's just my assumption!

I hope everything is for good.

Diary, it was a wonderful dream anyway.

Whether it will come true or not, I'm leaving it to you :)

Love Language: Receiving Gifts

Two Equals Perfect

I want a flower and a card too...

Diary, when will I get mine?

Uncertainty

I have taken the first step, but Diary, he didn't show what I expected.

Maybe, he's afraid that I'm going to say 'no' to him.

Possibly, he's already over me and the feelings are gone.

I heard that he's planning to meet with a lady I know. For what reason, I don't know.

Perchance they're going to be together.

I'm unsure how he feels for me.

I wish he would try to approach me once again.

Playing Chess - Lessons Learned

Know your destiny/goal/purpose - Checkmate! Be alert and focused.Don't be distracted by little things and lose the more important things later. If it seems that you are failing, don't lose heart. Continue playing, you still have the chance to win. Just remember the game is not over yet. Last but not least, don't easily give up like one of my sisters - heh heh ;P

You're Unique, Dear

Trying to figure out how to get to his heart.

I tried comparing myself with her. I wonder what attracted him to her. What qualities she possesses that make him drawn to her. I wanna be after his heart. I attempted to check out on her. But my curiousity only ended in more hurt later.

To compare is unfair. I never realized that everyone is unique in their own way.

Your Another Face In The Crowd Is Missing You

Daddy, do you know how much I miss you?

It's really sad I can't show it just because I don't know whether you would like it or not.

Daddy, why are you ignoring me?
Is this the best way for both of us - keeping silent like this?

I wish I could talk to you for a while. I enjoy talking to you - eventhough I have no topic to talk about. Conversations with you mean a lot, a lot to me, Daddy.

I don't know Daddy, I don't know how much I mean to you.
Perhaps, I'm just your another face in the crowd you can live without.

Waterfalls

I had a dream. With eyes wide opened though.

It was a wonderful dream. I hope it was not merely imaginations. I saw the directions of life. Hopefully, it will come true.

I'm taking the first step tomorrow, and I'll see how Diary leads. Diary, I'm counting on you. Show me whether is this the right path.

I promise not to go chasing waterfalls. If we're together it is meant to work together for good, not to be astrayed.

Note to self: Don't go chasing the big flashy things that always interest you because sometimes they self destruct. Don't go after things not meant for you. Instead, go after the things that you are destined for.

Zhuan Shu Tian Shi

At first, when I heard this song I didn't really like it since I didn't get the significance as it's a Mandarin song. Plus, I have very tiny knowledge of Mandarin - almost zero. Thomson knew it from the start that I'm going to love this song provided I understand the meaning. So, he showed me the translated lyrics of this song.

I will not blame you on your pretendence to me.
When an angel comes to the Earth, she should hide her wings.
People are stupid and abrupt, but you are delicate and angelical.
How can I let you be hurt because of me?

Your small hands give a thick warmth.
You can always calm down my uneasy night.
The dream that I dare not to dream, through your eyes,
I then see it is just in front of me.

No one can grab you away from my side.
You are my personal angel, only I can own you.
No one else can replace you in my heart.
I own a personal angel,
I wouldn't need any other wish.

Your small hands have a big power.
I too can definitely soar high like you.
The place you want to go is my direction.
You have my protection so you just focus on smiling brightly.

If it's not for you, I am still sleeping.
Despairingly thinking that there is only darkness in life.

I finally realized that I too have fallen in love with it.

Actually, even the song title itself - My Personal Angel, means a lot to me. Brings so much memories.

I wish I am still His Personal Angel.

I miss him much much. So much.
And I do hope he misses me too.

Angel

If I could be his angel...

Maybe, the best way is just to be his angel in disguise.

Just like a shadow, I'll be beside you. I'll be your comfort and let it guide you home. I will provide you a place of shelter.

I want a be your zone. Tell me what to do, tell me what you wanted me to do.

I'll make you great to be a man with a woman who can stand, who will never promise to leave her man, making vows to please her man.

If I could be your angel, your angel, your angel. Protect you from the pain, I'll keep you safe from danger. You'll never hurt again. I'll be your a.n.g.e.l. I'm gona be your a.n.g.e.l. I'll be your angel.

Just like the moon. I'll step beside and let your sun shine while I follow behind cause baby what ya got. It is with all the props, with everything I'm not. Tell me what to do, tell me what you wanted me to do. I'll make you great to be a man with a woman who can stand, who will never promise to leave her man, making vows to please her man.

Tell me why there's so many good men, and the world's misunderstood. He's a dog, he's no good. I wish somebody would disrespect my man, you're gonna have to come see me. I go hard for my baby. He's all that I need.

So if you got a good one, put your hands up. Come on girl and stand up. Go ahead lift your man up. Get up, if you got a good one, put your hands up. Go ahead lift your man up, get up. If you got a good one, stand up. Come on girl, and stand up.

Over You

My guide, the person I looked up to.

He used to be my everything.

My guide, gone.

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one to build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me.

You took a hammer to these walls, dragged the memories down the hall, packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up, so did my eyes so I could see that you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running a long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you, more than you, more than you know.

I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years putting my heart back together.

The day I thought I’d never get through, I got over you.

Better In Time

Possibly this happened because I felt the unfairness of not being acknowledged. Been with him. But he seems uncomfortable telling others that I'm his, that I belong to him. Is he ashamed of me? I don't know. He treats her differently. Everyone knows about her. But for me, I'm just hidden. Almost everything simply needs to be done privately. It clearly shows something.

He is ever waiting for me to make the first move. So that he's not to be blamed when this is found out. But I can't always stay this way. I need him to prove his love for me too. It's time for show and tell.

Go in, come in, thought I heard a knock. Who's there? No one, thinking that I deserved it. And I know that, time will heal it. You didn't notice, you mean everything.

I admit almost all the time my heart awaits for him to give me a sign. I wait, hoping he still loves me and I still belong to him and have a special place in his heart. But as days passed, there's only dissapointment. It is readable, that with or without me, it doesn't really matter.

Maybe, I'm never gonna be good enough for him.
Goodbye, I hope it'll all get better in time.

Quickly, I'm learning to love again.
All I know is, I'ma be okay.

It's gonna hurt when it heals too.

Even though I really loved you, I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to.

Since there's no more you and me.

It's time I let you go so I can be free, and live my life how it should be.

No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you.

Yes, I will.

Quotes From Love Songs

You mean well, but you make this hard on me.

Promise me that you'll leave the light on, to help me see with daylight, my guide, gone.

If your heart is nowhere in it, I don't want it for a minute.

--Love Song, Sara Bareilles

While you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.

--My Wish, Rascal Flatts

He would carry me, And I knew for sure I was loved.

Never dreamed that he would be gone from me.

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him.

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him.

I’d play a song that would never, ever end cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again.

I know I’m prayin’ for much too much.

Every night I fall asleep, this is all I ever dream.

-- Dance With My Father, Luther Vandross

I should have seen it coming, I should have read the signs. Anyway, I guess it's over.

--Fool Again, Westlife

A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there.

But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home, when there's no one there to hold you tight, and no one there you can kiss goodnight.

A room is a still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom.

But a room is not a house and a house is not a home, when the two of us are far apart, and one of us has a broken heart.

Now and then I call your name, and suddenly your face appears.

But it's just a crazy game, when it ends, it ends in tears.

Pretty little darling, have a heart, don't let one mistake keep us apart.

I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home.

When I climb the stairs and turn the key, oh, please be there, saying that you're still in love with me.

Are you gonna be in love with me?

I want you and need to be, still in love with me, say you're gonna be in love with me.

It's driving me crazy to think that my baby couldn't be still in love with me.

--A House Is Not A Home, Luther Vandross

No matter what I do, I feel the pain, with or without you.

--Tearing Up My Heart, Nsync

I lie awake, I drive myself crazy, thinking of you, wanting you the way that I do.

-- I Drive Myself Crazy, Nsync

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things, and then I don't feel, so bad.

--My Favourite Things, Connie Talbot

Love Is A Choice & I Choose To Be Silent

Love is a choice, I know. But in my case, I know I can't choose to show love to him though I love him very much. Indeed, I have warm feelings for him. The matter is, if I choose to show love, it will lead to all sort of nonsense. I don't want that to happen, you see. It's just wrong for me to fall for him. Guess this is just right. We should stay silent like this. Like they say, silent is golden.

Leadership By Example Please

Don't teach me about unfairness. Don't even talk to me about counting blessings. Don't teach me about anything that you don't even practise it yourself. I feel like puking hearing all your teachings. They are all nothing but a pure nonsense. Talk to the hand.

Complicated

T made it so complicated. I was just helping C but now it ended this way. I'm not even interested to get involved in this kind of stupid relationship. Hope next time, C won't get me involved again. T said she won't bring me out next time. Guess this is just one form of foolish punishment I have to accept. I don't care anymore, Diary. I won't depend on anyone to make me happy. I don't need them to bring me out to have fun. Diary, thanks for being all ears. I'm glad I have you. Love you Diary. :)

What Hurts The Most

Today, I learned that we should have nothing against anyone. Therefore, I should say bye bye. It’s the best way out.

Diary, sometimes I feel like crying. I hope you understand. I’m sorry when sometimes I don’t meet your expectations. One of my friends shared with me the other day. She told me that I look mature but actually I’m childish. Actually, I quite agree with her.

Diary, I’m afraid people can’t stand any longer with me especially my most loved one. Everybody can leave me. It doesn’t really matter. But what hurts the most is when my most treasured person doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Communication has gone zero. I wish I could lean on someone’s shoulder now. I do really feel bad.

Our Memories, Our Yesterdays

Yes, yup, I miss them much. Memories. Our yesterdays. Maybe it's only me who takes it so seriously. I hope it matters as much to him too.

Diary, I just lost somebody.

Let's repeat this song with me.

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody

Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady

Put your hand way up high

We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins

This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers

Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times

I didn't get it but you kept me in line

I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes

On Sunday mornings, and I missed you

But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things

Separation brings

You never let me know it

You never let it show because

You loved me and obviously

There's so much more left to say

If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like

"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"

Miss you but I try not to cry

As time goes by

And soon as you reach a better place

Still I'd give the world to see your face

And I'm right here next to you

But it's like you're gone too soon

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done

And you never got to see me back at number one

I wish that you were here to celebrate together

I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night

With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight

I thought you were so strong

You'd make it through whatever

It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye Bye

No.1

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Diary I am fearful. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose him, finally. Today, out of sudden N stole him away from me. I know I can't do much. I can't fight because it seems that it's not worth fighting anymore. No matter how hard, how tough I'm going for it, I know he is not with me. He isn't gonna side me for it. He's on her side. She's No.1.

Diary, how I wish he'll see me at No.1 one day.

A Heart2Heart Chat With GG

Last night I chatted with GG. Though I hardly know him, I knew I needed to have a friend to talk to. Having none to share with in my family I chose to go to him. I chose him because of his age. I knew he surely is a mature man and probably will understand me better compared to the rest.

11:18pmGeorge
jasmine,ciao bella:)how are you?
11:18pmJasmine
i'm missing ** *****
11:18pmGeorge
awww where is he?
11:18pmJasmine
he lives *** *** ****
sometimes i wonder whether he still loves me
11:19pmGeorge
well jasmine,your a lovely woman,if he dosn't he is a fool
11:20pmJasmine
he seldom talk to me nowadays.
it is saddening
11:20pmGeorge
where doe's he live?
11:21pmJasmine
in the **** ******* as I am. but not with me.
i feel so far away from him
11:22pmGeorge
i think perhaps you should consider moveing on.
souns like maybe he has.
11:22pmJasmine
thanks george.
perhaps you're right.
11:23pmGeorge
im sorry but look,your a wonderful girl,dont let him get you down ok:)
11:24pmJasmine
:) I'm trying to forget him too.
but sometimes it's hard to say bye bye to someone
11:25pmGeorge
i understand,but to be honest,if he had respect for you,he wouldnt ignore you
11:25pmJasmine
perhaps this is bcos he now has a new ******.
11:26pmGeorge
well your a woman worth keeping,you have great value..i think maybe he is a fool:)
11:27pmJasmine
it's difficult... because actually I am not his ********** ********, just *******
so i should be thankful enough that he once ******* me
p/s pls keep this private
11:28pmGeorge
its sad,sometimes men get new ******,and forget the old ones
of course,i would show you nothing less then love and respect
11:30pmGeorge
never fear,what we talk about will always stay between us
11:31pmJasmine
thanks, thanks for your listening ears, george. :)
11:31pmGeorge
anytime you need me ok:)
heres my personal e-mail and my msn messenger,add me there. aquittedspy@hotmail.com
11:32pmJasmine
appreciate that :)
11:32pmGeorge
and anytime you need to talk,come see me,im always on ok
11:33pmJasmine
*hugs* thanks.
11:33pmGeorge
always a pleasure to help a friend
11:35pmGeorge
when did you last hear from him?
11:38pmJasmine
we now communicate *** ********. but now evn when I see him ******, he keeps ******.
i feel invisible.
and sometimes i feel as though he never cares anymore
i'm afraid of losing him
11:39pmGeorge
i can tell you,i know,my own ******,my ********** *** wasnt around much either
but one day youll make your own******
and these lessons you will know and be a good ***
11:41pmJasmine
You're right. Perhaps I'll take it as experience :)
11:41pmGeorge
but i know it's hard,as i said ive been there myself
11:43pmJasmine
I know. Surely it is very painful.
11:44pmGeorge
still is today,but i always keep my head high,as should you,you have value as a person
11:48pmJasmine
I agree with you, thanks for your encouragement.
Actually ** ***** is not that bad.
11:48pmGeorge
your most welcome
feel free to talk to me anytime ok
i want to help if i can
11:49pmJasmine
******* is a **** ***. Plus now he's ******* and
I know he has to ****** *** ****

11:49pmGeorge
but a man should not forget his ********
11:50pmJasmine
I'm afraid that I maybe a stumbling block to ***** ********.
You see, I'm not *** **** ***
11:50pmGeorge
dosnt matter,in the heart youshould be
but yes maybe *** *** **** doesnt allow him the space,which is also sad
11:54pmGeorge
i wish i could give you a hug
11:55pmJasmine
Thanks George. I'm really in need of hugs. *Hugs*
I will miss him greatly. But Ishould learn to move on with my life because he now has his own life
11:56pmGeorge
and support..and i will do my best to offer you that as well
11:56pmJasmine
:)
11:57pmGeorge
try to be happy ok:)
nothing good will come from you being unhappy
think of your friends,other family
you will have a good life
11:59pmJasmine
I will George. :) I feel so much better after talking to you.
11:59pmGeorge
im hapy i could help,feel free anytime
add me on msn messenger if you have it ok

I felt better after moments with him. Thank God for him. :)

Both Leaving Me At The Same Time

Yup, I need to be prepared.

Almost everytime now, both of them leave me at the same time.

Oh my gosh, just now, that thing made me feel so alone.

Diary, thank you for listening.

*hugs*

Hurry Back Home?

Diary, are you waiting for me? I hope you are. Diary, I feel like hugging you right at this moment. Diary, it's over between him and me now. Diary I feel like I no longer belong to anyone else. This feeling sucks.

Once Loved

Teardrops. I knew for sure I was once loved. But now, I'm unsure. My attitudes and behaviours just turn them off. Diary, I hope you still love me, no matter what?

Better Than You In This

Hi Diary,

Just now I tried to talk to S, thought maybe I should talk to him. But Diary he ignored me and quicky appeared offline the moment later. He only onlined for around 2 minutes, dissapeared the moment I approached him. This clearly shows that he's trying to distance away from me. Dissapointing. I would never talk to him again. Behaving that way, not manly at all. :-/

Would have nothing to do with him from now on.

I'm better than you in this.

Praying For Much Too Much

Diary, here I'm coming to you. To some, they would think that for no reason, I'm feeling sad. But Diary I know you understand. Diary, guess I'm just praying for much too much. And I don't expect this prayer to be answered. Diary, I want to cry T.T Lend me your shoulder now.

Just Hugs

Tell me how come you're feeling this way?

..Silent..

*Hugs*

(That's what I need the most. Thank you.)

The Light Is With You

Dear Jasmine, you don't need sunshine when you have the light with you.

Ending It

Hi Diary, I can't really stand anymore. Yup, he seem to be tryng to keep everything private. I doubt he wants to continue this relationship. He seems to ignore me and have least to do with me. Diary, I think it's time for me to move on and stay away from him. Have nothing to do with him and just act as if nothing ever happened between both of us. Diary, be with me at this point of time, I need support from you.

A Mature Romantic Love

Diary, today I got to know another mature man. He's nice and sweet. And gosh, maybe I have developed a very little tiny feeling for him. Hahahahahhaha. When I got to know that he's middle-aged, I can imagine fatherly love. Perhaps, I just need a father figure. One who loves me with a fatherly love -a mature kind of love. And of course, I love having someone who loves me romantically as well.

In short, maybe my wish is this: A Mature Romantic Love.

Wasted & Dumped

Diary, I'm sorry for feeling this way when I know I am supposed to feel strong. I just don't know why. I feel wasted. Dumped by everyone. Diary, I'm sorry.

Live Her Life The Best She Can

Hi Diary.

Today this was what I posted in my Facebook shoutout after reading Living The 7 Habits (Stories Of Hope & Inspiration) by Franklin Covey.

Jasmine has the obligation to live her life the best she can for the people she loves the most - whether they are on this earth or on the other side.

Diary, I had the courage to change, and I hope I'll continue having the courage to change.

Yup, I know perhaps I have hurt him when I was in a terrible emotional condition.

But now when I try to get to him. Hmmph, he seems to ignore me. So sad...

But Diary, I'm gonna be strong. I want to live my life the best I can.

Diary, I'm gonna be strong! :)

Are You Like Them Too?

Do you miss me? Do you love me dearly? I don't know how you feel about me. Living here, I know some already feel that I'm a spoilt brat, a bit messed-up etc. I heard them said so. How about you? Are you like them too?