Love & Leave

Dear Diary,

I need to talk to you on something. I need your help in making some decisions. Well, I've been trying to leave someone so special. It's not because he has done something wrong but it's just that I don't think I would like to destroy people's lives anymore.

Is this the best decision?

Yes, I love him. Miss him too. Almost every seconds. I hope it's not wrong. Sometimes, I do feel like hugging him. He's the dearest person in this my world actually. I really don't want to hurt him anymore. He still calls me his own. And I really feel that's sweet, very sweet. He's busy, and I don't wish to cause a lot of trouble to him.

I'm suppose to bless him not to make his life harder. Please forgive me if I have hurt him. Don't mean to make him feel bad.

Help me Diary, I really don't want to regret something when it's too late. I love him but it seems like I have to leave him. I really don't know. Yea, it's really undesirable for us to be apart. I love him. I do. I do.

No Fighting

Yeah, it is quite clear what she is trying to do. However, I'm not interested anymore in fighting. Have your way. Hoping on you, Diary. Thank you for being here.

Daddy's Angel Of Blessings

My Angel of Blessings

God sends me an angel

To pray for me on earth

To touch and thrill my life

To heal my pain and hurt

Even though she is shy and timid

She is not afraid to sms me every day

Telling me that she loves and cares

That she is smiling - her life is okay

God is in her every heartbeat

In every tear she cries

He is there to lead and guide her

For she is the Apple of His eyes

I know all these for sure

Because God is also my Father

He will never forsake us, Angel

Even though we stumble and falter

Life will have its ups and downs

Sometimes we rise and sometimes, fall

One thing that we are forever sure

With Jesus, we will stand very tall

He will bear with us our burdens

And take away our fears

Ease the pain of our sorrows

And wipe away our tears

So, dear Angel, please be very strong

Life can be a struggle or a delight

The future may be dark and unknown

But trust Him, for Jesus is the Light

His glory and love surround you

His majestic splendour is so grand

Look at His loving eyes and face

Reach out for His nail-scarred hands

So, Jasmine, let's serve our Lord today

Minister to male, female, young and old

With soft whispers or gentle touches of love

To preaching sermons with words of gold

--Daddy Albert

Missing Moments

As I read those letters, I feel like missing those moments once again. Dear Diary, can I be your beloved bride? Your favourite? There's an emptiness here which I'm so ashamed to tell anyone. Diary, you know me best. You know what I'm feeling inside.

Valentine's around the corner. Guess I would be celebrating it all alone. Maybe just me with you.

Daddy and me are being far away from each other. We are slowly staying away from each other.

It is saddening. Actually I never want it to end this way. I love him. I like him. I miss those moments. Really. Miss them so much. But now, I don't know how to get nearer to him. He now has a wife. It seems like he doesn't need me anymore.

It's saddening but I gotta pretend that I'm happy for him.

It's neither my intention to appear as slut in front of you. Neither do I want to look like a bitch. I... I... don't wish to continue living this way. Do I really need to leave him? Forget totally about him? Is that the perfect decision?

Still His

I guess we are alright again. Today he sent me some photo comments and I just can't help but to smile gleefully.

He mentioned himself as my own in those photo comments.

So, it means I'm still his! Am I right or wrong?

Diary, what's really going on?

I hope our relationship will remain.

I want, I desire to be his.

Disowned

Do you know how it feels inside? You don't really care anymore. You seem to disown me now. It hurts badly. But you don't care. You are just ignoring me. And you are quite okay with how I feel right now. You really don't want me anymore. I'm just not qualified to be yours. I'm torn. But it doesn't matter to you. Because you have your own life. I'm not going to disturb you anymore because I am really a burden to you.

Where Else To Go?

Just tell it straight to my face that you don't want me anymore in your life.

I'm pretending to be tough. But when he sees it. he hurts me even more. Diary, I don't really exist in his life. I feel like crying.

It feels bad to know that now I don't have a someone to share my happiness and sadness except to you. It feels bad but no one even cares. It hurts, it really hurts. There's no place except here.

Leaving Behind

I'm slowly letting him go. It is better that way. Better for both of us. Trying to live a new life. Sorry.